Sunday, February 10, 2008

Marvelous Multiples

I had a terrible day of barfing on Friday. I had gone nearly a week without throwing up, but Friday, it all went to shit. I ate my cereal and milk and was thinking I needed to have a shake with protein powder, but I just wasn't feeling right. I took Winnie out to do her business, and after I came inside, I threw up EVERY BIT of my breakfast. There was not a single Total flake left in my stomach. It was awful.

I picked up a smoothie at lunch time, and I had them add a scoop of my protein powder to it. I was able to drink most of that, but I wasn't feeling great. When Billy got home, we decided to go out to eat. I felt like a turkey burger so we went to Fudd Rucker's. I ate most of my burger and some fries. About 30 minutes after we got home, I was in the bathroom upchucking my dinner. It took about 6 violent vomiting episodes to get it all up. That was it. I gave up on eating for the day after that. The babies obviously were unhappy with everything I was giving them. Screw them. I went to sleep.

On Saturday morning, we had to rise and shine early to head off to our "Marvelous Multiples" class. This takes the place of a childbirth class for multiples. We learned about everything from steps you can take to prevent pre-term labor to what to expect in the delivery room to how to deal with the babies once you get them home. There were 10 couples in the class. We were the only triplet parents. Everyone else was having twins. I think they all thought they were going to have it rough until they met us.

Billy and I came out of the class feeling like we were baby-raising geniuses. One girl asked what the difference was between using a Diaper Genie and just throwing away dirty diapers in your trash can. I leaned over to Billy and said that the difference was that if you used your trash can, you would have a house that reeked of baby shit all the time. Then, one guy asked what a Diaper Genie even was. Another guy asked if his wife had to lean over the babies with her boobs hanging down to be able to breast feed them. There were some clueless folks in there.

In the afternoon portion of the class, we watched some videos, and Billy and I discovered that we weren't mature enough to have children of our own. In one of the scenes, there was a woman sitting on a birthing ball, and her husband was behind her massaging her legs. We both whispered to each other that it looked like soft-core porn and started giggling. Nobody else in the class was laughing. Then, in a later scene, this other lady's husband was helping deliver their baby, and he had removed his shirt and was just in his wife-beater. I told Billy I definitely didn't want him helping pull out any babies, and I certainly didn't want him in a wife beater in the delivery room. Then, we both started laughing again, and we couldn't stop. Our kids are doomed.


PockHerc said...

Is Winnie pregnant too or am I reading the avatar description wrong?

Les-Zig said...

Winnie is not pregnant. My avatar is pregnant. The last thing we need is a litter of puppies to go with my litter of babies!

Teri Z said...

The AAP and the APHA require a closable, foot-pedal operated, plastic-lined trash would be HANDS FREE Leslie!