Monday, November 26, 2007

Awkward Moments

Since I don't really have an update to give, I figured I would reflect on some awkward moments that Billy had to face as we moved along our infertility journey:

Awkward moment #1: The first time you walk into the "guy" area of the infertility clinic. This is where men leave their "deposits" for analysis. It's so uncomfortable in there. You know what the men sitting around are there for. They are going to slip off to back room to peruse porn and do dirty things. Making eye contact with anyone in there makes you feel filthy.

If you live less than 30 minutes from the clinic, you can bring your "sample" with you in a specimen cup. That way, you can use your own porn. They give you a small, black bag to transport the cup. If you see anyone walking in with that bag, you know what they are bringing along with them.

When a sample is dropped off, the front desk person doesn't even touch it. She makes you take the cup out and put it in a little plastic basket. She picks up the basket but never directly touches the specimen cup. That must be a thrilling job: Semen Basket Carrier.

Awkward moment #2: During my second cycle of ivf, I was going to donate some of my eggs to my sister, Alice and her husband, Kibby. This was before I knew that my eggies were full of chromosomal issues. Well, the morning that I had my egg retrieval, the "man milk" from all parties involved had to be on hand to fertilize eggs. That morning, Billy and I showed up for the surgery, and he had his little black bag, and Kibby (my brother-in-law) was walking in with his bag. We all knew what was in there, but we just had to make small talk. It's not like you can say, "Hey, how about that sperm in your bag. Good stuff, huh?"

Awkward moment #3: Collecting a "sample" and having to deliver it to doctor's office by 6:30 a.m. With this last cycle, Liane's egg retrieval was scheduled for 8 a.m., but the sperm must arrive 1 1/2 hours before that because it has to be "washed." It makes it sound so dirty, but the washing procedure is just a way that that they weed out the bad swimmers and make sure that only the Olympians are in there and ready to compete! Anyway, Billy had to do an early morning wake up call, if you know what I'm saying, and get that to the lab. Then, he ran into my dad and Liane in the waiting room. That must have been awesome.

I guess Billy needs to have a few of these moments to equalize some of what I've been going through.

1 comment:

kmehawkeye said...

this is literally like an episode of "Notes from the underbelly". What is the appropriate exchange of conversation between your dad and billy "go get'em tiger" or just a pat on the back? Or maybe you pretend you don't know eachother....

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